Funeral resources
Why choose a life celebration
When someone dies there is so much to do, legal requirements, funeral arrangements, financial things to resolve. These practicalities are legally the responsibility of the deceased Next of Kin, the people who are closest and already suffering the most. All of this at a time when you are overwhelmed, experiencing loss and grief, and possibly never having had to deal with this before.
You want to do what is right for the loved one you and lost and the family they have left behind. As an Independent Celebrant I am trained to provide a personal and unique life celebration ceremony, that will capture the personality of your loved one, being totally about them, but importantly providing comfort to family and friends who remain. We are all individuals; no two people are the same and neither should any two ceremonies be the same.
Here are a few reasons why you may wish to consider a Life Celebration:
You can have the funeral or life celebration in a choice of places, you may prefer a crematorium, a natural burial ground (often called a woodland burial) or a life celebration or memorial service at a different location after the formal funeral and committal. This ceremony could be at your own special place, outside in nature if you chose.
You can choose your Celebrant, it is so important to connect with your celebrant on a personal level so they can learn about your wishes and your loved one, this does not have to be a sombre event, it can be uplifting and comforting. A great Celebrant will listen to you, and meet you, so you can be confident that they understand what you want.
No restrictions on the content you can include religious material such as prayers and hymns if you wish, or you may choose a completely non-religious service. You can include humour and music that means something special. You can choose what feels right for you, your celebrant can help guide you and support your choices.
A unique service for a unique individual, a good celebrant will produce a bespoke and personal celebration reflecting all those things that were special about the person you have lost. Everyone dreads going to a funeral, but we can make a life celebration a cathartic, comforting and memorable experience for everyone present.
A few of my favourite poems and readings
Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there.
I did not die.
She Is Gone (He Is Gone) by David Harkins
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.
How did he live by Christina Rosetti
Not, how did he die, but how did he live?
Not, what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of his birth.
Nor what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with words of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away.
Miss me, but let me go by Christina Rosetti
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It’s all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.
Wedding resources
is a Celebrant ceremony the right choice for us?
Planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times of your life, but it can be a long and winding journey from the proposal to saying, “I do”. So much to plan and prepare for, finding the right dress, securing your dream venue, not to mention invitations, flowers, and seating plans.
We often get caught up in other people’s expectations and requirements, but this is your special day and should be everything you want and dream about. It is about your love and commitment to each other, so the ceremony is arguably the most important part of the day.
An Independent Celebrant is trained to provide a personal and unique ceremony, no two couples are the same and neither should any two ceremonies be the same.
Here are 5 reasons why you may wish to consider a Celebrant Wedding:
Your ceremony your choice
You can have the ceremony wherever you want, inside, outside, on the beach, in the forest, or in your own special place. You don’t need to be restricted to a venue which is licensed to hold a wedding with a registrar, but you will need to complete the legal formalities at the local registry office if you wish to be legally married.
No restrictions on what time you get married, watching the sunrise or sunset, early bird or night owl, you can have the ceremony whenever you want to reflect who you are and how you want your special day to be.
A ceremony that is completely your own, unlike a Registrar led ceremony there is no legal limitation or restriction to what you can include. You have the freedom to create a ceremony which feels right for you, reflecting your love, life, and personality. If you have been to a few weddings, you may recognise a feeling of Déjà vu. A celebrant can help you turn your thoughts and ideas into a truly special ceremony that belongs to you.
You can choose your Celebrant, why wouldn’t you want to know the person who is going to be such a huge part of your day? A great Celebrant will listen to you, likely meet you and really get to know you before your big day, so you can be confident that they understand what you want.
Wonderful words a celebrant ceremony is not restricted by traditional words and vows, you can say what you want how you want to reflect who you are, your hopes and happiness. Of course, choosing your own words can sometimes be overwhelming but your Celebrant will help guide and support you.
If you are looking for your special Wedding Celebrant to join your journey, please get in touch.
A few of my favourite poems and readings
Romantic
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is leftover when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.
The Chaos of stars by Kirsten White
I didn’t fall in love with you.
I walked into love with you,
with my eyes wide open,
choosing to take every step along the way.
I do believe in fate and destiny,
but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway.
And I’d choose you;
in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality,
I’d find you and I’d choose you.
Life’s journey
Maybe - author unknown
Maybe, we are supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
Maybe, it is true that we don’t know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives.
Maybe, the happiest of people don‘t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Maybe, the best kind of love is the kind you sit on a sofa together and never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Maybe, you shouldn’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone that makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Maybe, you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.
Maybe, love is not about finding the perfect person; its about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Just because its beautiful
These I can promise- by Mark Twain
I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth, or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.
But I can promise all my heart’s devotion;
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that’s ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow.